Learnt Behaviour

I learnt to do things I had to do, even though I didn’t want to.
I learnt to ‘people please’ even though I was disrespecting myself.
 I learnt to be brave, even when I was feeling scared.
I learnt be strong, even when I was feeling weak.
I learnt to smile, even when I was feeling sad.
I learnt to be calm, even in an environment that was unstable.
I learnt to turn a blind eye, even though I could see, hear and feel exactly what was going on.
I learnt to put walls up for protection, even though I wanted to let someone in.
I learnt to handle it, even though it hurt like hell.
I learnt to be quiet, even when I wanted to scream.
I learnt to be who they wanted me to be, even though it went against who I actually was.
I learnt how to fight, even though I wanted to love.
I learnt to lie, even when I wanted to tell the truth.
I learnt to be the protecter, even when I so badly wanted to be protected.
I learnt to say sorry, even though it wasn’t my fault.
I learnt to hide, even though I wanted to be seen.
I learnt to shrink, even though I was ready and willing to blossom.
I learnt to grow up, even though I was still a kid.
I learnt to keep my mouth shut, even though I had so much to say.
I learnt to stay, even though I wanted to run.
I learnt to live, even though I wanted to die.
We are the product of our upbringing, our environment, those we surround ourselves with.  The beliefs we form, the values we hold, are all formed in our younger years. Whether they be right, or wrong – that is in the eye of the beholder.
We unfortunately or fortunately create a sense of who we are and what we deserve during this crucial time of our lives.
We are not our past, we can change the narrative if we want to, we can challenge and rebuild our belief system if we want to. We can choose who we are and what we stand for if we want to.
For me, I chose to share light even when I was surrounded by darkness, and now that light burns bright asf!
Who are you without them?
Who are they without you?
Who do you want to be?
The answer is in your hands.
T x